My daughters, Nina and Kaya, my wife, Bianca, and I went to see Taylor Swift in São Paulo on Thanksgiving weekend.  She was fantastic.  I never imagined I would enjoy myself as much as I did.  Kaya is a true Swiftie and her reaction to the show was the true joy.   When the lights went down and Ms. Swift hit the stage, my eyes were drawn only to Kaya.  She was simply ecstatic.

Taylor Swift’s music brought pure joy to her life and, consequently, mine.  

It wasn’t the first time. 

For ten years, I had the honor of being the head boys’ basketball coach at Graded School in São Paulo.  For five of those years, I served as the athletic director.  We worked hard to build a culture of unity around our program that transcended wins and losses.  It was a great time in my life. Never more so than on one night in November 2009. 

The culminating tournament of the season is called Big Eight and the last game at that time was the boys’ basketball championship. In 2009, our team made the final.  The gym was packed as the teams took the court.   

Sometimes, groups rally around unexpected things, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, during that year’s Big Eight, the boys’ soccer team became fixated with a techno version of Taylor’s “Love Story.” Over the course of the week, the song became our theme.  

While our team was warming up and I was wholly focused on the challenge ahead, this happened (35 seconds): 

The boys on the team had worked so hard that year to be great.  I wanted them to perform and was not only focused before the final, but, if truth be told, I was a bit nervous.  Maybe too much so.  Those nerves melted away, however, when I saw the community’s unbridled enthusiasm, energy, and positivity.  It was a moment of pure joy, and again, Taylor Swift was at the center.  

As the video shows, we won an ugly, competitive game that night against my current school, the American School of Brasilia (EAB).  It was a fantastic moment for our group.  What I cherish 15 years later is not the win but that special moment before the game.  It is something I’ll never forget.  As a wholly-committed Bull for the past decade, I must note that EAB beat us in the final the next year, handing me the most crushing defeat I’ve had as a coach.  And so it goes.  

A friend asked me the other night if I thought life was getting easier as I grow older, if I had achieved some sort of wisdom.  Honestly, I’m not sure that is the case.  Though much less grand, at 52, my experience is more in line with Nelson Mandela’s quote, “After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.” There are always ways to grow, improvements to make, and challenges to tackle.  I can always be a better dad, husband, leader, educator, coach, friend, son, and human being.  The learning curve remains steep and forever will. For that reason, a painting of Sysphus a former student gifted to me hangs on my office wall, a constant reminder that, in the analysis of Camus, “One must find Sysphus happy…as the struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.” True, but that “struggle” can be stressful and at times frustrating. 

That brings me back to joy.  

Every Wednesday, I have lunch with a group of students called the Principal’s Advisory Council (PAC). I told the kids a few weeks ago that they need to “hunt joy.”  Clarice, a wonderfully spirited member, said, “That’s great, Mr. Bair, you want to kill joy.” Ok, maybe “hunt” isn’t the right word. The point, however, remains. 

Sometimes, we are lucky enough to have joy find us, as with the two Swift-inspired instances above. My experience tells me, however, that more often, we must seek out and initiate the things in life that bring us moments of elation.  Most importantly, I’ve learned that these things don’t have to be grand. A fist bump in the hall, a hearty laugh with friends, an original song at bedtime to my kids, or a good run are often enough.

A quick look at the headlines this morning makes me think it may be a tough year ahead.  I encourage you to seek joy in your life in whatever form works for you.  Moreover, I truly hope you’re lucky enough to have some of it find you as well.